A man appeared before the pearly gates. “Have you ever done anything of particular merit?” St. Peter asked.
“Well, I can think of one thing,” the man offered. “Once I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman. I told them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen.”
“So, I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker. I smacked him on the head, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring and threw it on the ground. Then I told him, ‘Leave her alone or you'll answer to me.'”
St. Peter was impressed. “When did this happen?”
“A couple of minutes ago.”