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  SENIOR HUMOR
   

A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office.


"Is it true," she wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?"

"Yes, I'm afraid so," the doctor told her.

There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, "I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS'."


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An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, arenowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to get the anesthesia he asked to speak to his son.

"Yes, Dad, what is it?" "Don't be nervous, son; do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me .. your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife...."


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Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it


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The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for


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Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.


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When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.


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You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.


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I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.


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One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.


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Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.


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Old age is when former classmates are so gray and wrinkled and bald, they don't recognize you.


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If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you are old.


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First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper.
It's worse when you forget to pull it down.


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Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft..
Today, it's called golf


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A WELL PLANNED LIFE????

Two women met for the first time since graduating from high school. One asked the other, "You were always so organized in school, Did you manage to live a well planned life? "

"Yes," said her friend. "My first marriage was to a millionaire; my second marriage was to an actor, my third marriage was to a preacher; and now I'm married to an undertaker."

Her friend asked, "What do those marriages have to do with a well planned life?"

"One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready and four to go.

Something to read for those old distributors who have got nothing to do.
Eddy Chai

 
  Story Archive
   
  The Bamboo Seed (featured story)
  For Your Health.
  No more English
  The Realities of Golf
  Stories For Adults Only. Warning: You may find some stories offensive but it is good for your heart.
  Stories for Christians.
  Never give in
  How business is done
  Cowboy Boots
  A gold urinal
  I've learned....
  Blonde Jokes
  That's GOD.
  Politicians
  FAMILY
  DEFECTIVE PARROT
  I ASKED GOD
  Footprints- New version
  Exercise for seniors
  No wonder men are happier!
  Go slow and watch out for the chicks...!
  Triple Filter Test
  Great Salesman
  Now we know you are one of us
  Just for laughs
  Today's women
  Potentially & realistically
  The driver and his wife
  Women's terminology!
  Husband Mart
  Don't Mess With Old Ladies
  Bryan
  Two good questions
  Pedal
  The Little Old Lady
  Two lines
  Definition of success
  Fix the brakes
  Write your hurt in sand
  Rules from the man side
  Public Restroom Humor
  Prison Vs Work
  Mrs Thomson and Teddy
  Law of the seed
  Bring your upline
  Odds and Ends
  You were in my class
  MAD WIFE
  Sharpened your Axe?
  That's Life.
  Who makes coffee?
  A Prayer
  I gonna miss you
  Jack and his buddy Bob
  The Little Things
  "There's no charge for love"
  It is good to be a woman:
  Polish divorce
  Healthy Eating
  Navajo Indian
  "But my thumb still hurts like hell"
  WOMAN'S LIFE CYCLE.............
  THE BRICK
  Another Blonde Story
  DIARRHEA
  ''Thank God'
  Bob Hope
  Joe and John
  Creepy huh?
  DONT ARGUE WITH CHILDREN
  4 - 8 year old
  I love my job
  No milk
  A penny
  CORPORATE LESSONS.
  Bush and the Queen
  Pay attention, people!!!"
  Get my teeth
  Eternal truth
  Heaven's grocery store
  A glass of milk
  The Florist
  "Watch and learn,"
  The Rancher's widow
  Arsenic
  Mr. and Mrs. Leland Stanford
  The drugs are wearing off...
  Old Fred
  I'm telling everybody!
  Smile
  The carpenter
  Why I fired my secretary
  NEIL ARMSTRONG
  SARS
  WHY WE LOVE CHILDREN...
  Retarded?
  Boss first please
  Think twice
  A crusty old man
  Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin
  Going the wrong way
  Be careful
  The Cracked pot
  Lawyers
  Stop complaining
  Love does not need a reason
  No ears
  Colored people
  Yearly performance reviews
  Satan's meeting
  Air India
  People who have made a difference in your life
  7-11
  Cheap parking
  The Hare and the Tortoise
  My Dad
  Love and Time
  Language
  Gambling odds
  Elvis
  Dr. Norman Vincent Peale
  MUSINGS OF A GOOD FATHER ON A BAD DAY
  Athenium orator Isacrotese in 430 B.C. said
  We shrug the act of achievement
  Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody
  Have you ever noticed
  Sir Alexander Fleming
  Two sons
  Jokes on marriage
  Friends
  Love your woman
  The farmer and the lawyer
  The way we look at things
  Two traveling angels
  There's got to be a pony!
  Cellular phones
  The Stonecutter
  I asked God
  Different teaching system
  Roger Bannister
  Two men went to the Pub
  The frog and the centipede
  Three old pilots
  Moishe
  Landmines
  Duck eggs Vs Chicken eggs
  Tee-up.
  Tiger Woods Vs Paul Azinger. Year 1999
  Time
  A professor from Cornell University
  The CAGE
  The 90/10 Secret
  Problems! Put them down
  Can you read this?
  You are so blessed
  Sarah
  Why are we here in the Zoo
  Love, Wealth and Success
  "In God we Trust"
  KISS. Keep It Simple Special.
  "No, Dad. You hold my hand."
  One........
  Four Seasons of Life
  Discoveries & Inventions of Man & WOMAN
  God granted man's wish.
  THE YEAR 1905
  Make a difference today.
  "The one you feed."
  "I only have a small frying pan."
  Copy and Paste
  Lunch with God
  Royalty Income.
  Cannot do 2 MLM at the same time.
  The devil's greatest tool, "Discouragement"
  Sand and Stone
  Elephants
  Guidelines from God.
  HOW ANY COMPANY'S POLICIES GET ESTABLISHED
  Franklin D. Roosevelt.Winston Churchill.Adolph Hitler.
  THE IMPORTANT THINGS IN LIFE
  NEW. A Strong Woman (or Man)
  Kids in Church.
  The Perfect Couple
  NEW. I've learned....
  Christopher Columbus
  The Timid brave
  Mom, where did I come from?
  I've got 3 new prospects
  Tourist visiting Rome
  Daddy, how much do you make an hour
  Go home and empty your cup
  How come you come
  And God said,
  Alexander the Great
  Many moons
  The Cross Room
  Jose can you see
  The life of the bird is in your hands
  Hot dog
  Professor study on image
  Professor speaking in a nudist camp
  Two black eyes
  The lady forgot to pull up her zippers
  Waiter, waiter, don't flush the toilet
  All your meals are included in fare
  Marketing Strategies
  The two mental patients
  Instructions for Life
  If I had to live my life over
  Empty Your Cup
  Think out of the box
  The Tight-rope walker
  Favorite Books
  Courage
 
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