Email this page to a friend
  WHY WE LOVE CHILDREN...
   

A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat. She asked him if it was dead or alive.

"Dead." She was informed.

"How do you know?" she asked her pupil.

"Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently.

"You did WHAT?!?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise.

"You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move."
_______________________________________________


A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later.... Da-ad...." "What?

"I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?"

"No. You had your chance. Lights out."

Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad....."

"WHAT?"

"I'm THIRSTY. Can I have drink of water??"

"I told you NO!" If you ask again, I'll smack your bottom!!"

Five minutes later......"Daaaa-aaaad....."

"WHAT!"

"When you come in to smack me, can you bring drink of water?"
_______________________________________________


An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief finally asked him, "How do you expect to get into Heaven?"

The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'
_________________________________________________


One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mummy, will you sleep with me tonight?"

The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."

A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy." _________________________________________________


It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children's sermon. All the children were invited to come forward. One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the pastor leaned over and said, "That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter Dress?"

The little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on microphone, "Yes, and my Mum says it's a bitch to iron."
____________________________________________


When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower.

She said, "Mummy, you are getting really fat!" I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mummy has a baby growing in her tummy." "I know," she replied, but what's growing in your bum?"
_________________________________________________


A little boy was doing his maths homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine...."

His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?"

The little boy answered, "I'm doing my maths homework, Mum."

"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked.

"Yes," he answered. Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day,

"What are you teaching my son in maths?"

The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition."

The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?"

After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."
_________________________________________________


One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Licken to her class.

She came to the part of the story where Chicken Licken tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Licken went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!"

The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?

One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said: 'Holy Shit! A talking chicken!'

The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

 
  Story Archive
   
  The Bamboo Seed (featured story)
  For Your Health.
  No more English
  The Realities of Golf
  Stories For Adults Only. Warning: You may find some stories offensive but it is good for your heart.
  Stories for Christians.
  Never give in
  How business is done
  Cowboy Boots
  A gold urinal
  I've learned....
  Blonde Jokes
  That's GOD.
  Politicians
  FAMILY
  DEFECTIVE PARROT
  I ASKED GOD
  Footprints- New version
  Exercise for seniors
  No wonder men are happier!
  Go slow and watch out for the chicks...!
  Triple Filter Test
  Great Salesman
  Now we know you are one of us
  Just for laughs
  Today's women
  Potentially & realistically
  The driver and his wife
  Women's terminology!
  Husband Mart
  Don't Mess With Old Ladies
  Bryan
  Two good questions
  Pedal
  The Little Old Lady
  Two lines
  Definition of success
  Fix the brakes
  Write your hurt in sand
  Rules from the man side
  Public Restroom Humor
  Prison Vs Work
  Mrs Thomson and Teddy
  Law of the seed
  Bring your upline
  Odds and Ends
  You were in my class
  MAD WIFE
  Sharpened your Axe?
  That's Life.
  Who makes coffee?
  A Prayer
  I gonna miss you
  Jack and his buddy Bob
  The Little Things
  "There's no charge for love"
  It is good to be a woman:
  Polish divorce
  Healthy Eating
  Navajo Indian
  "But my thumb still hurts like hell"
  WOMAN'S LIFE CYCLE.............
  THE BRICK
  Another Blonde Story
  DIARRHEA
  ''Thank God'
  Bob Hope
  Joe and John
  Creepy huh?
  DONT ARGUE WITH CHILDREN
  4 - 8 year old
  I love my job
  No milk
  A penny
  CORPORATE LESSONS.
  Bush and the Queen
  Pay attention, people!!!"
  Get my teeth
  Eternal truth
  Heaven's grocery store
  A glass of milk
  The Florist
  "Watch and learn,"
  The Rancher's widow
  Arsenic
  Mr. and Mrs. Leland Stanford
  The drugs are wearing off...
  Old Fred
  I'm telling everybody!
  Smile
  The carpenter
  Why I fired my secretary
  NEIL ARMSTRONG
  SARS
  Retarded?
  Boss first please
  Think twice
  A crusty old man
  Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin
  Going the wrong way
  Be careful
  The Cracked pot
  Lawyers
  Stop complaining
  Love does not need a reason
  No ears
  Colored people
  Yearly performance reviews
  Satan's meeting
  Air India
  People who have made a difference in your life
  7-11
  Cheap parking
  The Hare and the Tortoise
  My Dad
  Love and Time
  Language
  Gambling odds
  Elvis
  Dr. Norman Vincent Peale
  MUSINGS OF A GOOD FATHER ON A BAD DAY
  Athenium orator Isacrotese in 430 B.C. said
  We shrug the act of achievement
  Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody
  Have you ever noticed
  Sir Alexander Fleming
  Two sons
  Jokes on marriage
  Friends
  Love your woman
  The farmer and the lawyer
  The way we look at things
  Two traveling angels
  There's got to be a pony!
  Cellular phones
  The Stonecutter
  I asked God
  Different teaching system
  Roger Bannister
  Two men went to the Pub
  The frog and the centipede
  Three old pilots
  Moishe
  Landmines
  Duck eggs Vs Chicken eggs
  Tee-up.
  Tiger Woods Vs Paul Azinger. Year 1999
  Time
  A professor from Cornell University
  SENIOR HUMOR
  The CAGE
  The 90/10 Secret
  Problems! Put them down
  Can you read this?
  You are so blessed
  Sarah
  Why are we here in the Zoo
  Love, Wealth and Success
  "In God we Trust"
  KISS. Keep It Simple Special.
  "No, Dad. You hold my hand."
  One........
  Four Seasons of Life
  Discoveries & Inventions of Man & WOMAN
  God granted man's wish.
  THE YEAR 1905
  Make a difference today.
  "The one you feed."
  "I only have a small frying pan."
  Copy and Paste
  Lunch with God
  Royalty Income.
  Cannot do 2 MLM at the same time.
  The devil's greatest tool, "Discouragement"
  Sand and Stone
  Elephants
  Guidelines from God.
  HOW ANY COMPANY'S POLICIES GET ESTABLISHED
  Franklin D. Roosevelt.Winston Churchill.Adolph Hitler.
  THE IMPORTANT THINGS IN LIFE
  NEW. A Strong Woman (or Man)
  Kids in Church.
  The Perfect Couple
  NEW. I've learned....
  Christopher Columbus
  The Timid brave
  Mom, where did I come from?
  I've got 3 new prospects
  Tourist visiting Rome
  Daddy, how much do you make an hour
  Go home and empty your cup
  How come you come
  And God said,
  Alexander the Great
  Many moons
  The Cross Room
  Jose can you see
  The life of the bird is in your hands
  Hot dog
  Professor study on image
  Professor speaking in a nudist camp
  Two black eyes
  The lady forgot to pull up her zippers
  Waiter, waiter, don't flush the toilet
  All your meals are included in fare
  Marketing Strategies
  The two mental patients
  Instructions for Life
  If I had to live my life over
  Empty Your Cup
  Think out of the box
  The Tight-rope walker
  Favorite Books
  Courage
 
  ©2004 EddyChai.com. All rights reserved. Privacy Policy | Contact me